Ramadhan

It's the month of Ramadhan and i will fast a whole month without skimping...

Shame on me; to declare what i did publicly..
But C'mon havent we all popped unassuming samosas into our mouths during that last eleven minute stretch to ifthar? Havent we?
Well, i have. And not just when i was ten either..

Again, shame on me.

But this time is different.
Yesterday was the first fast of the month and even though yeah i did think of Jeffri's Nasi Ayam and bubble tea too many times, i also did NOT put anything in my mouth.
Furthermore i didnt even lie or imagine myself in promiscous situations... i even missed Ugly betty to recite a few pages from Surah Baqarah!! I'm on target of one chapter from the Quran a day...
Even though i was late for Sahar, i managed to get ifthar and dinner on the table right on the dot. I didnt over-eat.

This is a first ever for me... I've always succumbed to temptation and such steely determination i never thought i possessed...
I guess since i'm head of my own house now it's all different. I dont know why i didnt throw myself into Ramdhan as fully as i have done now, all those years before. To think fasting can actually be fun... It's sort of like my fast evolved into much needed food for my soul.
This new-found efficiency and maturity i hope i carry on to the other months of the year as well. This ramadhan, i have found myself again.. Or at least i have found what i woud like to be like...
And no, it's not that Oprah Winfrey-ish "seek yourself inside out" spirituality crap i am talking about. This is real.


I am enlightened.
I am free.
There IS hope for me

And to think i feel this way with just a day's fasting...